A Heavy Heart

For my last blog I was going to write about how amazing my senior year was or maybe even my last prom or how I'm stressed about the research paper because I don't think I'll get it done in time. Or about how four years of high school really just seem like one long year. But then something happened, something so unspeakable that I honestly don't know if I can write about it. This Tuesday a little girl was murdered. This little girls name was Ashlynne Mike. Ashlynne was picked up from her yard with her little brother, the man that picked them up promised a ride to the movies. That is not what happened, this man, if you can even call him that, drove these children two hours away from their home then decided that he was done with the brother, pulled over, let the brother out and drove off. He then decided that it was appropriate to attempt to have sexual relations with an eleven year old girl and when she screamed and cried because of how bad it hurt, he got upset and hit her with a tire iron. He then proceeded to leave her body and go to a prayer sweat log where they were prying for the safe return of Ashlynne. Because of this MONSTER  a family is celebrating Mother's Day with one less child, a family is going to have to adjust to missing a piece of them because this monster couldn't keep it in his pants. This is one on of the only things that can truly make me hate a person and wish to kill them. Taking that little girls life and innocents was not within his right. Yet he was somehow able to. This also why I have difficulty believing in god. They say believe in god and he will protect you and keep you safe, that he will send angles to watch over you. Even if Ashlynne didn't believe in god she had multiple people praying for her, sending "angles to protect her". All I can think about is how alone and helpless she felt, how unsafe and scared, that she may have been praying for god or anyone to save her. And no one or nothing did. I've been told by people when other instances happen such as, the terrorist attacks or school shootings, that it is all god's plan, that he can not control what people do and has to let them use their free will. But I say that is complete bull. It was an infringement of free will when Ashlynne was assaulted and murdered, it was an infringement of free will when a terrorist decided to crash a plane into a building because it was for their god. But while I am outraged by this god everyone seems so fond of, I hope that for Ashlynne's sake their is a god and that this god will make sure she has a happy after life and brings healing to her friends and family. And if their is a god I hope he lets someone else use their free will to hurt this man in ways he hasn't even dreamed of yet.

A Little Thanks

At the start of my personal musical journey the only thing I sang were hymnals. I can remember sitting in church listening to my father preach and instead of opening my bible to psalms chapter four, opening the hymnal to one-twenty-four. I would sing the hymns in the melody I thought the words fit, usually I was wrong but sometimes I would get so close to it being right. I guess you could say this is the start of my musical journey. It wasn't until eight grade I had any musical training. Mrs. Debra Thomas was my first music teacher, I cannot thank her enough for the influence she had on me. She, and Samantha Edwards taught me how to read musical(I'm pretty rusty). Mrs. Thomas encouraged me to step out of my shell. But she is not the only people who have helped me on my musical journey so far, I have to thank Mr. Gardner and Mr. Obren as well. Mr. Gardner taught me to fake it till I make it. Which I think can be transferred into a 'real world' motto. And Mr. Obren taught me to prove people wrong, to not always except that what people say as a criticism but rather a nudge to better or as constructive criticism. Because of the opportunity Mr. Obren gave me I was given the confidence and passion to sing in front of a crowd. Mr. O noticed me in eight grade when I sang 'Hero' by Super chick. He approached me later asking if I was interested in a band like group called Fusion. I was so shocked that he thought I was good enough to be in Fusion. I had never really performed alone before and much less live. In choir it's easy to hide behind the other voices. My freshman year of Fusion was rough, I was really depressed and instead of letting the music help make me feel better I turned away, it wasn't until Obren said he would kick me out that I realized what I would lose if I gave this up. After that I was at every game  and show playing my heart out. And by some miracle he invited me back the following years. Mr. Obren is honestly one of the only people I want make proud. He doesn't know it but made an impact on me that I am very grateful for. He has not only got under my skin so deep I swear he were a termite but he has also been one of the people who inspired me to chase my dream and start a band. I want to change the world, and my life with my music. I want to make Obren, my mom, and myself proud. I want to 'make it' as a musician, but I also want to be a music teacher. I want to open a School of Rock of sorts and help inspire children the way Mr. Obren, Mrs. Thomas, and Mr. Gardner inspired me. I want to have my students performing at a major league baseball game or even at Disneyland. Because of these people I am grateful and would like to say thank you. Thank you for starting me on a journey I hope never comes to an end. Thank you for planting a seed of love for music in my soul. I'm happy that this is just the start of my journey and that there will be many more teachers. But I figured that because I am graduating and have never thanked them properly that I thought now would be a perfect opportunity.