I have never had a 'normal' friendship. They have always been weird and impossible, this is probably why none of them have worked out... Well all except one. Oddly enough this particular friendship was the one I thought was not going to work; I thought this because so much had happened. First I told him that if he ever tallied to me again I would punch him in the face, and the. When I did start talking to him again it was great right up until he would randomly decide to stop talking to me. We also had other challenges; such as, we would always fight (physically and verbally), we were very competitive, and could never just agree to disagree. There were many more issues but that list is to long too go into. Pretty much, our friendship should have been impossible. You may be thinking, "If there were so many issues then how did it work?" I'll tell you, one day I got tired of him deciding whether or not we would be friends and went to talk to him about it. When we talked we discussed how we did things to make the other upset and how we kept doing them because we were unaware of the affect it had. After we had this conversation I took a couple days to look at my self as a friend and to think about what I could do to make me a better friend. Since we have had this dicussion our friendship has only grown. He hasn't randomly stopped talking to me and is actually disappointed if we don't get the chance to speak. We challenge each other but it's not to see who is better than the other, it's to encourage each other to be a better person. Being his friend and going through all other this with him has taught me many things; like, how to love someone who doesn't believe they deserve it, how to set aside my pride for the sake of friendship, and on a less serious note; how to mosh. Now I couldn't imagine not hugging him everyday or not being able to just talk all night. I guess you could say the point of this blog is to show you that friendships aren't easy and they are a bit like a marriage. It takes hardwork and compromise from both parties order for it to work
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From the second I began reading your article I had a feeling that you were making gestures towards pat. Although you never said his name I still believe that you are talking about Patrick or you just have a secret friend that you have been hiding.
ReplyDeleteWhen you say a “normal” friendship it Is easy for us to all say that we have not participated in a normal friendship, because really what is a normal friendship? Do you know what I mean? We all have our own ways of enjoying each other as friends or acquaintances and I am glad that you and your friend were able to overcome the outdoing of each other to become the great friends you are today.
The points that you are taught through him are great as well. Not every person seems like they deserve your best but all in all we all have our downfalls, and to be able to set aside your pride is amazing. I truly enjoyed your blog.
The analogy that you used saying "friendships are like marriage" hit the nail right on the head. Friendships can be such a pain at times especially when one person is willing to give, yet all the other person wants to do is take.
ReplyDeleteIn order for a friendship to really work both people must grow and learn how to change so both sides of the friendship can benefit and be happy. Thats the key to a healthy and happy friendship...almost exactly like a relationship.
I am glad that you and your friend were able to work things out. Anyone is lucky to have such a wonderful friend like you!
Alright, so I'm going to go out on a limb, but not really, and say you're talking about Pat. I know you are, you can't hide it. Obviously he's my brother and I'm around him a lot, but people may not realize that you're probably around him more than I am. You for sure know him better than I do, and I'm not proud of that at all. What you were saying you were going through was almost the same thing I was going through with him. We actually, at one point might have said like one sentence to each other every two weeks. But what I'm trying to get at, is he is an extremely hard person to get close with, he knows that and you and I both do too. It's been getting better between us these last few years and I really felt how you were describing in your post. Everyday I try and say something to him or do something with him. I have to admit, it's pretty hard, but it's worth it. I could tell he puts forth the effort too. I just want you to know I know how hard it is and I also know that that hard work is worth it. He's an amazing person, an amazing brother, and I bet an even more amazing best friend
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